I Am Now Officially A Bum

To shorten the agony of waiting, I finally left my job last Aug. 29th instead of my plan on Sept. 15th. I still have 7 vacation leaves remaining so I used it as terminal leave therefore I am paid for the next 7 working days. Even my supervisor was shocked when I told him I will have an immediate resignation that day. He asked me why, I said "Because my mind and heart are not here anymore". And even if I am paid double to stay, I will still go. I am very touched to a lot of my former coworkers whom I was able to say goodbye and that I felt they are sad that I am leaving. But me deep inside,  I feel an unfathomable joy like a prisoner who is finally free! As I go on I would like to clarify that my rumblings here are all about the routines of my life and not necessarily the company I worked with. I was complaining about the nature of the work not directly the office I was part of. I mean I have grievances as an employee but I am rather talking as someone who wants to start over.  
After the very next day I left my work, I felt an unexplained added physical stamina  which is very ironic for me because I haven't slept enough yet after my last 5 straight days of working. This is when I realized that the tiredness of working I felt has gone beyond the physical level. It is actually my mind, heart and soul that are actually saying "You had enough, now move on!"

Some of my friends told me they are very happy for me and that they wish they can do the same - to at least take a break from working nonstop or find another regular job but they have a family to feed and bills to pay. They cannot let not even a month to go jobless because it would mean their whole lives at stake. I told them I am just like them. I could not let go of this job because before my siblings are still in college and I am helping a family back home even up to now. Just that now I am more courageous to let go of this because I have found other options and opportunities that are fruits of my labor.  I would rather opt for an adventurous and risky life over a comfortable and secured kind of. I will die getting stuck of doing a routine over and over again. I pity them because I know deep inside how they also clamor to be free from obligations and other realities but they are too chicken to leave their comfort zones. They are too scared to commit a mistake. 

Still life goes on, in a month or two my office is anywhere I go: in coffee shops, a coworking space or at my bed. This is what I have been dreaming of to live a location - independent lifestyle at least for now. I will try freelancing and anything in between. I don't want to think too much of what's next, all I care right now is my new found freedom while my application abroad is being processed .

Me rather than waiting for a sign, I made the signs I want. Rather than worry I prepared myself to risk. I am too I feel that way. It is like I jumped out from a ship that is sailing too slow but whatever happen it will reach to its destination. But me instead of waiting forever I chose to swim the waters, face the raging wind and the unforgiving waves.


4 comments

  1. Get a well deserve rest and sleep.

    ReplyDelete
  2. start of a new and more exciting life

    ReplyDelete
  3. Miss ka na namin Rona wala na kmeng Lola sa team na mapghihingan ng payo tungkol sa handbook ng usap.

    ReplyDelete