What Keeps Me Going?


Woke up this morning and suddenly wondered of what keeps me going. Am I living the life worth my hard work and the way I want it to be? Then I thought of these reasons. Is it my seven year old work that pay my bills? Is it my family back home that I rarely visit? Or is it my girl friends whom I have  spent countless hours in coffee shops talking about shopping, life and boys?

I was looking at my completely nude body in front of the mirror just after I took a shower. My loose hair is still dripping with water, my lips felt like mildly squeezed wet sponges and the shiver of  cold air is embracing my wholeness. The fruity smell of the shampoo and the pleasing scent of the milk soap all over me is like restoring my soul for a moment. I am not in a hurry to get dressed since it is my off today. I started touching the physical matter in me from my breasts, to my stomach and down there. I felt my body's imperfections. I wished I would have been like her blah, blah but this is what was given to me by the One above.

The laser treatment I underwent a few times for the veins in my legs have left marks. Aside from its expensive, the procedure hurts. Imagine yourself touching a light switch with your wet hand and you got electrocuted for seconds. The doctor says the pain is minimal and bearable but I have a very low resistance to cold weather and pains so I have to let go of the privilege of  wearing shorts and bikinis and have to keep my life going.

This coming Sept 23 - 27 I will be going to Bacolod, Negros. I have a spare ticket since my mom can't go with me. I wanted to travel alone as much as I want to have a companion. I haven't made my list where to stay and what to do. I love the feeling of getting lost and finding my way back. I am also looking forward to join the Digital Influencers Marketing Media a day after I go back to Manila from Bacolod.  

Looking back I wished I have started traveling in my early twenty's, learned new languages or chose the path of an entrepreneur's life not imprisoned in the four corners of a work station. I wished I have started an idea, a cause or a project to lead, to inspire, to help and stuff. I wished I can conquere one of my greatest fears which is talking in front of a crowd. But rather than a crowd I want to speak with the young ones of today to tell them how lucky they are that they are living in a social media era. They need to take advantage of this opportunity that the past generations never had. I guess I said enough. I still don't have the right answers or maybe I haven't understood the title of this post. There is so much in this world  I wanted to do and be part of. Anyway It is good I have a blog that gives me way to reflect somehow.


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